I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
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