Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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