Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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