Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
