You don't have asthma, your pregnant
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
