hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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