oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
