But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
accomplished twins. life is a go
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize