A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize