and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
My vagina just recognized that song.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
