dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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