I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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