You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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