i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
