ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
