i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
