you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
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