Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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