i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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