Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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