wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
