I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
