I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I think people are normalizing furries
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize