I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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