Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
