U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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