I looked at my own cervix.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Randomize
