i just google imaged poop.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
The beer is more important than you right now.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
