at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
