I heard we made out
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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