I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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