people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
