That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
