just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
