Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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