he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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