she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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