She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
