Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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