Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
another moral hangover. fuck.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize