Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
