I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
