Your tits are I can't wait for
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
