I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
