awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
