the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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