i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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