how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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