He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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