It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You were trust falling into bushes
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
