If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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