Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
After tacos, we're chasing women.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
