Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
