I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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