Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
