.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
