You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
