Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
ugly people sure do ruin things
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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