he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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