But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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