Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
