that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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